Jesus in a Box

Somewhere, somehow, there exists an assemblable Jesus. I guess he gets disassembled and put back in the box and stored somewhere until it's Sunday again? Back in the box you go Jesus!

Osho

This man was always on the local Amsterdam TV network. It was quite fascinating stuff. I think I've heard him utter more silences than words. You just have to love his rhythm. "consciousneszzzz.... ... ... iszzzz... ... ... ... very........" If you ever want to sound mysterious, just milk the pauses, get everybody nervous feeling like they are falling into a pit until you get to your next word. Except for this rhetorical style, he just seems... like a psychopath. It was either this cult or mass murder. Or well, who knows what is yet to come? And why not combine, isn't that what our economy stimulates? Well, Mr. Chandra Mohan Jain might be a bit too late for that, he died in 1990. Whether he was a mystic or tax fraudeur extraordinaire, a remarkable man was he. Watching the footage of his teaching is like watching Bob Ross!

 He sort of looks like a mix between Santa Claus and Charles Manson.

The example is just a random one, there are many many clips to be found. Also, Osho foundation has a website but... it kinda sucks. http://www.osho.com/

Alpha Course Commercial

If I could ask God one question, it would be why the hell did He allow this crappy commercial to be made.

Amen

"Amen is an American television sitcom produced by Carson Productions that ran from September 27, 1986 to May 11, 1991 on NBC. Set in Sherman Hemsley's real-life hometown of Philadelphia, Amen was starring Hemsley as the deacon of a church and was part of a wave of successful sitcoms on NBC in the 1980s which featured entirely or almost-entirely black casts." (wiki)

Mosque Alarm Clock

Somehow my sister obtained a mosque alarm clock somewhere. Set the alarm and you'll hear the call to prayer, the adhan, at the designated time. Come to think of it now, even though I assumed it was a gimmick, for all I know people actually use it for the purpose of not forgetting when it's time to pray. If the Arabic Christians chime church bells by playing a tape recording of it, then why not this? Whatever the purpose, it's great. And of course, in all my naivety, I thought there was only one type of these clocks. Of course not. There are a lot of them!

Isn't Islam just fááábulous?

I did see this website: http://www.mosqueclock.com. The fact that it exists alone makes me happy. By the way, they so should have called these Allahrm clocks.

Black Jesus

So I've seen an Asian and a Latin-American Jesus, I think it's high time for a black Jesus. I've included some classics, but there are plenty of others and quite breath taking ones at that to be found. All pearls in the hands of God, yes! I particularly love the Walter Sallman's Head of Christ take on the black Jesus. That just, is ode, satire and critique all roled in one without probably trying to be any of those things. Now that, folks, is art!

A great website for this is http://www.blackartdepot.com/blackjesusart.htm

Christian Art: Simon Dewey

Another king of a painter! I saw a lot of his works come by already, also in well known persiflage ways (the one of Jesus sitting with a staff I have seen countless times with the staff substituted for a shotgun). But it's fantastic. Fantastic. The colors, the bright smiles, that Vaseline edge. The... how can I say this... bold denial of evil almost. Oh what glory!

 Shepherd

 Beside Still Waters

 Consider the Lilies

 His Name

 He Lives

Jesus' Birth

Of Such Is the Kingdom of God

Like I always say, this is only a handpick from the bowl of delicious fruits that this artist has brought forth. I wish I could put a website here but unfortunately I couldn't find one. But do look him up on the internet, you'll be doing yourself a favor!

John Brown

John Brown came up in the Dutch classic standard Amerika by Jacques Presser on the United States. Brown was described as a fighter of slavery in the nineteenth century but long before the Civil War. One might say he was ahead of his time. He was also described as a deeply religious man, setting fire to all and each in his way of his Crusade against slavery, all in the name of God's glory. Quite a remarkable figure. In the book there is a picture by Steuart Curry called Tragic Prelude in which Brown is depicted being... at it, let's say. For some reason I can't help but hear him say "ooooohhhh!" in a Paul Roberson kind of way.

By the way, if Brown was fighting battles before 1860 and his opponents were already waving a Confederate flag around like they do in the painting, then they were just about as ahead of their time as Brown.

Islamic Comics: Silver Scorpion

When you don't feel pressured to come up with a clever line to generate interest for a post because the description suffices, then you know you have a good subject. I give you Silver Scorpion, the disabled Muslim superhero!

This picture I got from an article about the comic book that is very good. I'd like to quote most of it just to provide some background of how this seemingly unlikely superhero came about: "An early sketch shows a boy who lost his legs in a landmine accident – he later becomes the Silver Scorpion after discovering he can control metal with his mind. The inspiration for an ‘inclusive’ superhero came from US president Barack Obama’s efforts to reach out to the Muslim world. With that in mind, US philanthropist Jay T Snyder last month flew 12 disabled Americans to meet a group of their Syrian counterparts for a brainstorming session over a comic book script. ‘They helped create something by their combined talents and that becomes a gift to the world,’ said Mr Snyder, founder of the Open Hands initiative. Hamza Jaka, 18, of Fontana, Wisconsin, who has cerebral palsy, said: ‘The trip was great. I am a disabled Muslim and I love comic books, so this is like the highlight of my life.’ Initially, 50,000 Arabic-language comics will be distributed throughout Syria in November and will also be available worldwide online. It will be the first in a series of publications with international superheroes ‘based on the seeds that were created by these kids’, said Liquid Comics boss Sharad Devarajan."

In The Beginning

Some days I don't like myself. Like on the days where you read "in the beginning" as a note you made months ago and now you can't remember for the life of you what that refers to anymore. Okay, let me rephrase my first statement, some days I don't like my former self. He's such a mindless jerk. Anyway, I think I was talking about this pre-animé super cheaply produced animation series that I now found bearing this title. It takes me back to watching sucky animated TV series. It was cheap, stupid, whatever, it moved (even if barely) and it was on my screen, that's pretty much all it takes to satisfy an eight year old.

New Age Music

So every now and again you run into New Age music. I remember in the 1990s there was Oibibio here in Amsterdam, later Oininio, that aimed to be this big spiritual (shopping) center. Sort of a McSpirituality. It didn't last long. They had all types of "spiritual products" there, suited to the people who prided themselves in leading a spiritual (which was often just another word for expensive) lifestyle. They had all these New Age music CDs there (this was still in the era where CDs were the main musical medium), and they were great. They didn't mean anything. It was like, enormous words to describe nothing. Say about that what you want but it was by no means false advertising because that's exactly what the music was. Overproduced and yet unnoticeable. With a little bit of creativity one would be able to give that a mystical twist, although not really in the way that was meant probably. The artwork and titles of the CDs themselves though, are already quite enjoyable. Let me list just a random sample.

Native-American Jesus

After the Chinese Christ, next in line is Native-American Jesus. He was harder to find than I thought though. Here's what I could dig up. There is a lot of grief in the pictures it seems.

God-Jesus Toy

This must be without a doubt the weirdest toy ever made.

I particularly love that he is holding flowers on that box. Someone actually thought "oh hey, you know what would really nail this packaging? That's right, you guessed it!"

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace is the title of a hymn by John Newton, written in 1779. It seems to be very very popular in the United States. I think I can see why it is so popular, it is of a sentimentality that befits the American culture quite well. Imagine hearing the song set to some violins, sung in a very low spoken/singing manner, with a slideshow of pictures of (American!) nature. It probably came at the right time, just years after the American Revolution when national spirit was young and fresh, keeping it still warm in the hearts who of those who hear it and can't help but shed a patriotic tear. The lyrics are,

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Since it was set to music, I'd think it's only appropriate to include a rendition. I tried to find the corniest I could think of. I had liked to see Robert Goulet do it, in honor of both him and the song, but alas, no luck. This one though, by Patti Roberts, daughter-in-law of televangelist big-shot Oral Roberts, is also quite a treat. Dammit! That one wouldn't load on YouTube either. Oh well, might as well pull out the Queen of queens Mahalia Jackson on this one then! Clearly God so wills it. Take it awaylia, Mahalia!

Christ Light Switch

A classic almost Internet viral piece of material Christianity. I'm not sure if the naughtiness was intentional or not. I hope not, but even if it was: priceless!

Chinese Christ

It is often noted that the image of Jesus over the years has gained somewhat of a racial bias here in the West. A man from the Middle-East of two thousand years ago is likely to have looked more like Osama Bin Laden than James Caviezel, I'd think. Good to know however, the West doesn't seem to be the only place where the image of Jesus is being tampered with. First in this series is the Chinese Christ.

 Oh come on, the teachings of Jesus weren't thát boring, were they? Also, I like the idea that at the last supper, Jesus and the twelve apostles were using chopsticks!

Christian Art: Ron DiCianni

The work of DiCianni is very dramatic. Moreover, it's very nationalist, and perhaps even slightly militant. It certainly does seem to take pride in violence somehow. I am always skeptical when it comes to the idea of "glorifying violence" that about every cultural product is being accused of by some committee of housewives devoid of fantasy, but in this case it seems very hard to deny. I feature this mainly for it's nationalism. I love the pieces of the soldier, Bush and the one of George Clinton. Quite like in the art of McNaughton, it's hard to see where religion ends and where nationalism begins. The one of the soldier (?) being shadowed by a Templar knight is eerie in view of recent Norwegian developments.

There is a website, http://www.rondicianni.com/, however it looks very suspicious and it doesn't seem like an official website. If you are stuck with poker and porn popups for the next couple of months because of opening it, I'm not to be held responsible, that's all I'm saying. ;)